This month's column is based on an educational talk I was asked to present to a business networking group. It is a topic important to anyone who interacts with other sentient beings.
Being present, often called mindfulness, simply means having your mind, senses, and attention fully anchored in the current moment. Mindfulness is essential when communicating with family members, co-workers, clients, students, and anyone else with whom you are having a meaningful conversation. Very few people appreciate being suddenly ignored in the middle of such a conversation. When someone abruptly disengages with us, for no obvious reason, we may feel slighted, which can lead to frustration and even anger.
There are many things that can happen during an interaction that “break” presence. Those insidious smartphones we all carry, and smartwatches some of us wear, are psychologically engineered to demand our attention instantly when they ping, buzz, or flash. Did you know that your electronic device triggers a dopamine response in your brain and has trained you to treat it as more important than anything else in your life? If you don’t believe any of that is true, just start watching people.
If you want to be fully engaged with another living being, please silence or turn off your smartphone and watch.
How we feel can also affect our ability to be mindful. If we are ill, in pain, or over-stressed, the polite thing to do is to be honest and simply say, “Now’s not a good time for me; I’m not feeling well.” Sometimes the environment is too noisy or distracting, in which case it’s best to move the conversation to a location where all parties will be comfortable. There will be times when you cannot fully engage; just be honest about it and ensure you set aside time for mindful communication soon.
We pay a price when we are not present. It sends a very clear message that you are not very important to the person you just chose to ignore. Your action may cause them to react the same way towards you in the future. Failure to be present can damage relationships between family members, friends, business partners, students and teachers, you and your clients, and yes, even between you and your pets.
Being present when interacting with your dog is just as important as being mindful when interacting with any other non-human family member. Over the years, many of my students have come to me because they want their dogs to pay attention to them, yet they clearly don’t understand that their dogs would like the same from them. Respect goes both ways.
Your dog, who will remain equivalent to a human toddler forever, shares these characteristics with a human toddler. They are prone to emotional outbursts due to joy, anger, frustration, and fear. Both prefer routine, and changes in that routine can trigger anxiety or an emotional outburst. They have poor impulse control and often act without thinking. When we ignore them when they are hungry, want to play, need to go out, or are training them, they may see our sudden withdrawal of attention as a punishment, and science has proven time and again that punishment has no place in the training of a sentient being. Your dog is more likely to resent your lack of engagement even more than other family members, especially if it is something he experiences frequently.
We bring dogs into our family to be companions. I recommend that you commit to carving out several moments each day to be your dog's companion and to give your dog your undivided attention. That means the phone, the TV, the radio, anything that emits sound, is turned off. Great times for doing so are:
• When preparing and feeding your dog his daily meals.
• When playing with your dog, doing something that you both enjoy, either indoors or outdoors.
• When taking your dog for a walk, focus on watching him as you allow him the freedom to follow his nose and to stop and sniff as long as he wants. Be aware of what is happening in your environment to keep your dog safe.
• When you are training him and acting as teacher, and he is your student. Learning will be most effective when you are both focused on one another and working in an environment with few or no distractions.
• If you have a dog that likes to snuggle, and not all do, you can both relax and connect just by touch alone. However, please remember, snuggling with us is a choice your dog gets to make. If he doesn’t choose to snuggle, you need to respect his choice.
Don Hanson lives in Bangor, Maine, where he is the co-owner of the Green Acres Kennel Shop ( greenacreskennel.com ) and the founder of ForceFreePets.com, an online educational resource for people with dogs and cats. He is a Professional Canine Behavior Consultant (PCBC-A) accredited by the Pet Professional Accreditation Board (PPAB) and a Bach Foundation Registered Animal Practitioner (BFRAP). A Pet Professional Guild (PPG) member, Don serves on the Board of Directors, Steering Committee, and chairs the Advocacy Task Force and Shock-Free Coalition. The opinions in this article are those of Don Hanson. ©2026, Donald J. Hanson, All Rights Reserved